Learning Journal 9

In class this past Friday we talked about the importance of nonverbal communication. Who knew that nonverbal communication could play such a large part in our every day lives. In order to prepare us for the discussion in class, we read two articles. The first article was by an author named Argyle and his article was title "Laws of Looking". The second article was by an author named Hall and his article was titled "Sounds of Silence". They both discussed kinesics, which is the body language and nonverbal communication that we all use in some way. Examples of kinesics are eye dilation, silence after statements, gazes, facial expressions, head movements, fidgeting, costuming, posture, the way one walks, and one's bubble space. There are many ways that we communicate that we may be unaware of.
It was interesting to read the articles and then think how it applied to yourself. I began to think what habits I have. One that I thought of right away was that when I talk with people I start scratching the back of my head with one of my hands. In my mind it must seem that doing so will make each conversation less formal and more relaxing. It might even be a sign of "I don't care", which I hope isn't the message being received. It might possibly mean that I am confused, which I hope doesn't happen either, otherwise people will start treating me as if I don't understand things. This is all from one verbal message that I may send to people as I communicate with them.
Another thing that I don't is say hmmm or mmmhmmm when talking with people. Since I don't do either of those, I usually just stand there and listen and look watch the face of the speaker. In my mind, I'm just listening to what they are saying. But to the speaker since I am not responding in any way, they may think that I don't care, that I am not listening, that I don't understand, or that I am mad. I am sure that it could possibly send lots of signals to the speaker. I definitely don't want the speaker to think wrongly of my nonverbal communication, so it is important that I send messages that will be received well.
I guess this just goes to show how we all communicate nonverbally and we all do it differently. As a whole, white Americans probably have similar nonverbal communication skills, but at the same time there is a vast difference between us all. If I compare my nonverbal skills to someone on the complete side of the world in India, I may be surpassed at what I find. I really hope that I don't take anything the wrong way because I am used to certain signs meaning certain things. But more importantly, I hope that I don't send misdirected nonverbal communication to people that I am trying to gather research information from. I am sure that the longer I am there, the better I will get at understanding their communication that they send through their body language.
This reminds me of how often we try to interpret the other sex based on their nonverbal communication. After a date, the individuals are usually asked multiple times how it went. Most of what they share is about the body language and nonverbal communication that they observe. Often times you will hear people talk about feeling a bad vibe or not feeling right. This may be due to the unusual communication through ones body that the other individual is not used to. The person on the date then begins to expound on how the other individual on the date was acting: timid, nice, fidgety, conversational, if there was staring, etc.
The more I think about, the more I realize the importance of nonverbal communication. I have probably been tainted (or blessed) to now notice more body language. It will be important for me to not over read things and think that one movement of an individual has to mean something when it could actually mean something completely different. It will be interesting to see how much more I notice what people do. It will also be interesting to notice how I adapt to the different code of nonverbal communication in India.